Aidpage

 in response to Laura14...   Well its gone... everything. I lost everything in storage, I lost the ability to see my kids, I lost pretty much everything except the clothes on my back and a few personal items. So... I took advice and didnt give up.

Now what. No car (cant get to a job), no belongings, no family. I made it to the low point. I cant believe that there is no one who can help. waiting on foodstamps...

THIS SHOULD NOT BE CALLED "AIDPAGE"... It should be called "share your story, but dont expect anyone to help you - page"

 in response to theendofmyrope...   I don't know what else to say to make you not give up. Except don't. I don't have anything else to give but prayers. If we all balanced everything on $$ people gave us , no one would ever make it.

 in response to Laura14...   all I can say is that there is a point at which you no longer have it in you to keep going forward. when no one will help, when problems are overwhelming and insurmountable, and the burden too great.

I have hung in there all I can. without some immediate tangible help, i dont see the point of trying. I am not asking people to solve my problems, just help make them acheivable to begin the process. I hate that it has come down to money but ..... it has. Its sad too that I have had $0 help from anyone... civic groups, churches, individuals, anyone...

I am done. its too much

 in response to theendofmyrope...   don't say that, you won't be worth anything dead. My husband's best friend blew his brains out, so his family could get his social security, it was the last stupid thing he did. He ruined their lives, and my husband had to clean his best friends brains up , off the floor, pull up the carpet and soak up the blood with a towel.that's not what your kids need. No one is better off, if you are dead. Things will get better, and no one deserves to deal with the aftermath of a suicide. Keep dredging on hun, you will make it.

 in response to Laura14...   i believe in God and I do search for jobs daily. I do in fact have a few leads but every interview I have been to has been fruitless. I am working with people for a job but a job will not solve my most immediate problems and even if I got a job I don't have a way there because of my vehicle situation.

Too many things are stacked against me. All I have is a small life insurance policy with no cash value. I am actually worth more dead than alive.

 in response to theendofmyrope...   If God is not helping, then you are probably where you are at, to learn something, only he knows what it is, talk to him, ask him to reveal the truth to you. Go to the employment office, sign up, and talk to a case worker, tell them your woes, don't leave the office. Go everyday, 8 hours a day or at least 4 hours. They have people come in all the time that are hire ing, they hire everyone, from felons to the disabled. The trick is, to catch them. I need to do the same, only my husband needs me all the time, or my kids, so I have to squeez my job searches in between. Good luck and let God find you a job, when he thinks you are ready. He will bless you, in his time, not our time. God has done many wondrous things in my life, but never when I wanted him to, and he always has a reason.

 in response to Laura14...   thank you for your reply. I agree with you that families should fight to stay together no matter what. I have struggled with that and my anger towards my wife has been broken and I have let it go because that kind of anger only poisons the soul. my heart is also broken because of my children. I am unable to provide and if she ever took me to court for a divorce, she would get custody since I am "financially unstable." I have been trying to save our marriage for over a year now, and it looks bleak.

I apply all the time for jobs and I have not even been called to interview for minimum wage jobs. The problem is (and here is the bottom line), i feel beat up by this situation that most (i not all) of the fight in me is gone. The fight to keep looking, keep hoping, keep trying... I cant do this anymore. God knows my need, I tell Him all the time. I ask Him not just for help but for understanding and patience. Why cant He at least throw me a bone?

Without financial intervention, I cant continue. I need a good paying job but that wont even matter if i cant get out of the mess I am in. i have applied for assistance, food stamps, etc... but it takes a long time (so it seems) and thre doesnt seem to be many programs or people willing to help a down on his luck middle aged white male. If I was a woman, i would have help, if i was black or hispanic I would have help. If I was elderly I would have help.

I have nothing. and frankly i need more than words of encouragement. I need a miracle and God doesnt seem to be doing those... at least not for me.

many here are at there wits end, Im sorry you feel ignored and worthless, I feel the same sometimes, unfortunately, most here only have encouragement to give, as they are broke as well. all i can say is get on foodstamps, goto the employment office, take a minimum wage job, volunteer to work for redcross or fema, you will probably get free food that way, especially if they see you are starving. You will have to start at the bottom. And btw, the last I checked, wedding vows said "for rich or for poor", so if thats the only reason your wife left, perhaps its best. When things go downhill, families should pull together and fight, not dump each other! and anything that happened, can be forgiven, if people would just stand by what marriage is supposed to be. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, to forgive, and to fight through this life together. I have forgiven infidelity, failure, and a world of other things, and come out with a love that can't be broken on the other side. God Bless, and perhaps I was no help at all. But there's my 2 cents, and you havn't been ignored!. Pick yourself up, and do for yourself! You can do it damnit!